We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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