When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
