is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
