i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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