my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
