We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
