why didn't you poke me back
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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