I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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