There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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