I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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