Betty ford says i'm here all night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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