If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
