So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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