Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
