I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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