Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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