the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
