I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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