Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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