I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think your dad took our porno
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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