its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
