I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
