Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
