just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
