Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
