if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
