I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
