My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The ass gains better be worth it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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