just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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