The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
