i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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