Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
