i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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