I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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