i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
