Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
