from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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