I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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