we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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