Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
