I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When are your genitals available?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
