I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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