Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
