Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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