Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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