fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
