If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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