By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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