She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
