finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let's get the cat blown out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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