Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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