why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
