Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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