once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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