Betty ford says i'm here all night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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