Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
