Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
